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If you are anything like me, you're probably always looking to the future, to better things and better times. You may think "I will be happier when _______ happens." When I have a bigger house, when I have a boyfriend, when I get that job, when I finally move to ______. You live in the future a bit. I am living in the future right now and honestly? Its depressing. If I could live in the future right now, I wouldn't even be here. I'd be living in New York, with my job/internship at a fashion house helping with the inspiration board that will turn into the SS16 collection. I wouldn't care if I had a boyfriend but I would love to have somebody to think about. I'd be making enough money to support myself. Because I would be surrounded by fashion junkies, I'd probably be eating healthier and as a result, feeling better. I would be in a super cool new church ward, full of beautiful New York singles. I hear the Wards there are awesome. I'd just be happier.

But how does any of this help my happiness now? Future planning? There is a quote I heard a while back and text to my uncle that says "If you're not now here, you're nowhere." If you don't live in the present, where do you live? I want to live NOW. And believe me, I am trying. My uncle shot back another quote that says, "He who looks outward, dreams. He who looks inward, awakens."

So I have my Big Plan of Happiness. I am praying, reading my scriptures, I truly believe that finding my spirituality right now will help me find the happiness I am looking for to live in the moment. And don't get me wrong, I am also looking for a new job right now and working on building relationships. But I keep trying to add things to my project. It feels like its not working! I want MORE! I always want more and I think this is a problem. How do I stay happy with what I have now? The answer is probably pretty textbook for most, I think I need to recognize what I have now. I also need to live in the moment more. I want to feel happy now. So maybe another resolution, find joy in all the small things.

I guess I am really happy about this Macbook I am using. I bought it like 5 years ago, but its actually really pretty still. And sleek. And its actually looking really sunny outside, and that drastically affects my day most days.

I'm going to focus. I actually feel better now. :)

M